Receiving a counter-offer can feel flattering and confusing at the same time. A calm approach helps you decide well.

Remember why you started looking

Think about the reasons you began searching. If the reasons were about pay alone, a counter-offer may address them. If they were about growth, culture or the work itself, money may not change much.

Compare the whole picture

  • The role, responsibilities and prospects at each company
  • The team you would work with
  • Flexibility, learning and stability
  • How the offer is made up beyond salary

Be professional either way

Whatever you decide, thank everyone involved and keep the relationship respectful. You may meet these people again.

Think about what happens next

Consider how the relationship may feel after you accept. Ask yourself whether the issues that made you look elsewhere are likely to be solved, or whether they may return in a few months.

Talk to people you trust

A mentor, a friend or a family member can help you see the decision more clearly. Share the facts and the reasons behind your search, and listen to their perspective without feeling pressured.

Decide, then act decisively

Once you have made your choice, tell both employers promptly and graciously. If you are staying, be clear about what has been agreed. If you are leaving, plan a positive handover. Either way, a calm and courteous approach protects your reputation.

Questions to ask yourself

  • Why did I start looking, and has any of it actually changed?
  • If the answer was a pay rise, would I have asked for one without a resignation?
  • How will my manager and colleagues see me after this?
  • Does the new role offer something the current one cannot, such as growth or a different kind of work?

If you decide to stay

Get any changes confirmed in writing, including pay, title and responsibilities, and agree what the next step in your development looks like. Without that, it is easy for things to drift back to how they were.

A note for employers

Counter-offers rarely resolve the reasons someone began looking. Regular conversations about growth, workload and pay help you address them before a resignation lands on your desk.